


crash and burn (with me)

by silverinerivers



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, Kink Meme, M/M, Pining while fucking, Prostitution, Rough Sex, Unhealthy Relationships, Voyeurism, endgame is up to interpretation, skateboarding to sex metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:54:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29843865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverinerivers/pseuds/silverinerivers
Summary: Adam offers to buy a night with Langa even though he’s already dating Reki – and Reki regrets giving Langa permission when he’s made to watch it happen.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki, Hasegawa Langa/Shindo Ainosuke | Adam
Comments: 22
Kudos: 139
Collections: Sk8 Infinity - Kink Meme





	crash and burn (with me)

**Author's Note:**

> For the Kink Meme prompt [here](https://sk8-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/1329.html?thread=17457#cmt17457).
> 
> Yeah, it was only a matter of time before I gave in and wrote something for SK8, but the kink meme just sped that waaaaay up. Zero regrets though.
> 
> Please read the tags and warnings & back out if you aren't comfortable with anything there.

Reki opens his eyes again, and the ceiling stares back, the traitor.

He’s lost count of how many dots are on his ceiling, as if counting them one by one will help him forget the images permanently burned into his brain.

Blue hair splayed across wine-coloured silk sheets, knuckles gripping onto them so hard they turned white, Langa’s body bent over the bed, the curve of his spine downright obscene.

A movie that he can’t tear his eyes away from; a memory that can’t be erased.

He can still hear it, skin slapping against skin, each hoarse moan and plea. The more Reki tries to shut it out, the sicker he feels, and the more the voices come back to taunt him. The rasp of Langa’s voice repeating Adam’s call, charismatic and hypnotizing, asking for more, more, more.

Even when he had cried out Reki’s name, it was by Adam’s command, like some kind of twisted joke at his expense. Of course it was, given how Adam had fucked into Langa, told Langa to say his name of all things, and then stared right into the one-way mirror with a smirk and tore Reki into pieces. He didn’t think he could feel more humiliated than after Adam crushed him on the course, but he would have also never imagined this.

Still, even in all that cursed cacophony of sounds, one voice stands out above all the rest.

_This is your fault._

His own.

He tries to not have it show on his face when he meets Langa the next day at school. It’s hard, given how he barely scraped together a few hours of sleep, but Reki tries – and predictably fails. He was never good at hiding things from his boyfriend, and ever since he blew up at Langa and told him they weren’t a good match, Langa’s learned how to read his fake apologies and smiles.

So, it isn’t a surprise then when Langa grabs onto his hand and traps him, just before he could make a clean getaway after school. Figures.

“Reki, are you alright? You don’t look so good.”

 _You’re one to talk,_ Reki wants to bite out, but he swallows it down.

“Just, didn’t get much sleep last night,” he grumbles out instead.

“Me neither,” Langa yawns, and Reki wants to scream at him, because _of course_ he didn’t. “Want to come over? My mom won’t be back until late.”

Reki wants and he doesn’t. He doesn’t know how Langa can act like everything’s okay, even though he’s pretty sure he can spot a tiny limp in his every step. Yes, he wants to feel like things are the same as they were before last night, but he knows that’s more of a fool’s hope, an illusion. He wants to go back to before he told Langa yes, but now that it’s too late for that, he can’t just walk that promise back, because how hypocritical would that be? It took Langa breaking his promise for them to fight it out and get together. Yet now Reki’s the one standing on the other side, regretting ever giving Langa permission to spend a night with Adam.

He just wants Langa - and he has Langa, doesn’t he?

_After last night, do you really?_

Reki shudders at his own voice coming back to haunt him.

Yes - he’s dating Langa, he’s kissed Langa, and they’ve even fooled around a few times. He’s the one who makes Langa smile, who Langa looks for first in a crowd, the snow to his fire, the person Langa likes most. When Adam had led Langa to the bed, his face was blank, perhaps a little bit nervous, but otherwise the perfect mask of nonchalance, just like his first day at school as a transfer student. And then Adam had twisted that face, that separation between sex and love, and painted it so wrecked that Reki would probably get off on it if Adam wasn’t in the picture. Because Adam had taken that stone wall and fucked it down and drew noises out of Langa that Reki didn’t even know he was capable of making, from bored answers to downright begging –

“Reki?”

He blinks out of his daydream, daynightmare, whatever it is, and wills himself into an awkward laugh that he’s sure his boyfriend sees right through.

He has Langa, he still does, and if Reki can’t convince himself today, he’s going to hate himself and his damn ceiling tonight too.

“Oh, sorry, yes, let’s go.”

It doesn’t even take ten minutes before Reki cracks, when Langa bends over with a small wince on his face and his shirt rides up just high enough to show a hand bruise mark on his hip.

See, after he had stewed on his emotions and avoided Langa, Reki decided that life, like skateboarding, was worth taking risks for. It was too much back then, the turmoil of feeling not only jealous, scared of being left behind, but fucking heartbroken. But then, he took the leap – because he couldn’t just stay away from skateboarding, and he couldn’t let Langa go. Risk was confessing why he was distant, risk was forgiving Langa for skating with Adam, and risk was vowing to tell Langa upfront if he ever did anything that bothered Reki that much again.

Risk is setting the fire free; risk is this.

“I know you went to see Adam last night.” He blurts out, settling for the least filthy way of saying what happened.

Langa freezes halfway down, but then he grabs the drink from the fridge and straightens back up. He settles it on the kitchen counter, and then leans back against it, barely meeting Reki’s gaze.

“Oh,” he says, his naturally bright turquoise eyes suddenly foggy, “did he tell you?”

Reki feels his whole fucking world explode at how quiet and simple those words were, and it feels astronomically awful to him to let that poor pathetic excuse of the truth stand.

“Yes, and he made me _watch._ ” Reki hisses out.

At least that gets a reaction out of Langa, his eyes widening and a slight flush of pink colouring his pale cheeks.

“You were … there?”

Reki can’t decide how to take it, the hesitancy, the disbelief, because nowhere in his voice does Reki hear shame.

“Yeah, I was there. He said since I had agreed to the arrangement, that it was only fair that I get to reap the spoils too.” Reki laughs darkly, shaking his head numbly.

“…but why would you say yes to that?” Langa questions softly, his brows furrowed in confusion.

Reki feels a low fire burning in his gut, one that was lit aflame all along, ever since he stepped foot in that room and saw Langa so close yet so far from him, a glass wall away.

“Because,” Reki breathes, “the same reason you went. Because he asked me to, because there were vague suggestions on how he could ban me from S if I didn’t, pull strings to ruin way more than that, because …”

He trails off, a lump in his throat.

Langa puts one hand on Reki’s shoulder, and the touch is nothing special, yet it feels somewhat tainted now, bathed in the stench of someone else. But Reki doesn’t pull away, he can’t, because it’s Langa, his Langa, still.

“I went because he paid me, and I wanted the money. That’s how we met, remember? I needed a job and he made that obsolete with one night.” Langa whispers. “I asked you if it was okay. I didn’t think he’d get you involved more than that.”

“Well, he _did,_ ” Reki can’t help setting the flames loose now, untamed and scorched earth, “and I knew he was trouble from the start but I said yes anyway. I said yes for you.”

“And you shouldn’t have.” Langa finishes lamely, his hand sliding off Reki’s shoulder.

“I shouldn’t have. Because I can’t … I should’ve just closed my eyes, stopped listening, _anything_. But I was,” Reki stutters, feeling coals flare up inside his ribcage, the truth stumbling out, “I wanted to see too.”

“You – what?” Langa chokes out, incredulous.

“I wanted to see too.” Reki mumbles, his cheeks feeling hot. “It’s sick, I know, morbid curiosity, thought it’d be like watching you on your skateboard against him. Turns out I just wanted to torture myself. I don’t want someone else to have you, especially not like that.”

“I’m sorry.” Langa says, genuinely and not just as a Canadian reflex. That much Reki can tell by now. “I won't do it again. But I was curious too, he … makes me curious. He has this pull about him, you know?”

Reki glares at him to say exactly that, that he _does know._ Too intimately in fact.

“Right,” Langa whispers, embarrassed, “I thought it was just going to be sex, but I didn’t really know what that meant, I guess.”

And then Langa makes a weak gesture between the two of them, one that takes Reki for a tailspin.

“And? What is that supposed to mean?” Reki asks, mimicking the pathetic hand motion with his mouth half-open. It makes Langa crack open a smile for the first time in this insanely awkward conversation, and Reki feels it too, the tension slowly melting away.

“That it was good, really good with Adam, but … I think it’d be even better with you.” Langa says quietly. “If you … are willing, that is.”

Yes, Reki was jealous of Adam, how he was a center of gravity that wouldn’t leave him alone, a great big hindrance to everything in his life as of late. He couldn’t beat him in skateboarding, now the way he was now, that Reki was sure. But sex? Well, Reki hadn’t tried that yet, not all the way, and from his vague recollections of the talk from his mom, really liking someone is supposed to make it better, right?

Not that it was a competition or anything, but anything to start clean and look at Langa without thinking of who had been there first, drown it with something else.

Langa wanted him like that, the chant of his name something Reki doesn’t think he can ever forget, even given the circumstances. And Reki wants him too, wants him in every way Adam had him and more.

Reki nods slowly.

“So, we’re okay?”

Langa’s voice is so coloured with relief, Reki notes, and it somehow makes all the fire dissipate. He hadn’t thought of breaking up or anything over this, but as quickly as the possibility came, it also vanished, fizzled out with nothing more than a wisp of smoke rising from the ashes.

“Yeah. But I’m holding you to that.” Reki wags a finger at him, breaking out into the tiniest of smiles, but it feels so much fuller.

Langa smiles back at him, like a gentle caress. Until –

“Not today though. It still hurts.”

_Langa isn’t sure what to expect when he said yes. It feels somewhat dirty, sure, he’s well aware this is essentially prostitution. It really should bother him more than it does, but Langa’s never stared down in the face of danger, never minded jumping in and figuring out the rest as he goes. It’s just sex, right? And Adam’s the one who wanted him, his Eve or whatnot._

_All he has to do is sit here and take it, right?_

_To be honest, it sounds a bit yawn-inducing, not nearly as thrilling as going up against the man in a beef, the exhilaration of it. He even tells Adam so, crossing his arms and asking him to get on with it already, like it was just a chore on his checklist._

_Oh, how wrong he was._

_When Adam presses him to the bed, grips his wrists together with one hand, Langa is immediately filled with the realization that this is not the same playing field as S. Yes, he just has to lie here and let Adam take the lead. However, he’s out of his element here. It’s then that Langa truly realizes how Reki must have felt, powerless in the face of someone who looms over him in every single way._

_Adam doesn’t kiss him like Reki; he doesn’t kiss him at all. Instead, he leaves marks everywhere else, sucking hard along his collarbone, biting a trail down his chest. Langa can’t help but arch into it, give into the harsh, unforgiving grip on him, like he is a course to be devoured, to be conquered. It hurts, but in a good way, like scraping his knees on the same spot over and over again until he finally masters a move, honing into the pain for a purpose. When he flips in the air, he’s aware of the danger of crashing back down to Earth. But he does it each time anyway, each risk an escalating whisper that Langa must heed, just like each drag of Adam’s nails down his throat, his chest, each pinch of his nipples._

_He’s defiant at first, because same as when Adam touched him for the first time, it comes across sinister, a right turned wrong. But also, just like everything else Adam does, it unravels and wraps itself around Langa until he’s reduced to nothing but Adam, the allure of something new and dangerously addicting. That curiosity always gets the best of him, Langa knows, and one day it probably won’t end well. But he says yes to it today, and he gets ravished in it, each shred of his hesitancy stripped away with every bruising touch. It’s a pleasurable pain, always just a bit more than Langa thinks he’d want, but then he gets it – and of course, Langa only wants more. By the time Adam’s ripping off his pants, Langa’s already so hard he thinks he could come right then and there._

_“You want this, don’t you? Tell me.”_

_Langa shuts his eyes, letting the sensations of Adam’s fingers grazing the length of his dick talk for him._

_“Yes, yes.”_

_“Ask me to fuck you, nicely.”_

_Langa raises his hips off the bed to get more contact, but Adam pulls away and Langa’s left reeling, begging, probably nonsensically at that._

_That’s how he ends up bent over the side of the bed, sweat dripping down his back, wanting this for more than just money, more than just an experiment. Adam’s not gentle in bed by any means but he’s made it clear that he wants Langa to enjoy this, prepping Langa agonizingly slow until he finally thrusts into him. In that moment, Langa swears his world spins, and the only thing in it is the solidness of the sheets he’s holding onto, albeit too stupidly slippery anyway. If this is how penetrative sex is supposed to feel, too hot and overwhelming and making him drool onto the goddamn bed, then Langa could only wonder why he and Reki haven’t done it yet already._

_Adam snaps his hips back and then back in, the slide of his cock ripping a broken moan out of Langa’s throat from the intensity of it all. His vision goes white, his hearing just a buzz of panting and the sound of one thrust after another, hard, harder, more, unrelenting._

_He’s asking for it, Langa recognizes, the same time he notices Adam’s hand leaving his hip. Then his full weight is atop him, Adam’s tongue licking around the shell of his ear sending shivers down his spine before he whispers, like a siren’s song._

_“You wish I was him, don’t you?”_

_“I – hah -”_

_Langa can’t even breathe with how hot the room is, how full he is, but he can at least muster together enough of a coherent thought for this. Wild red hair, dazzling amber eyes, the person he loves._

_“He hasn’t even fucked you yet? His loss.”_

_The glide of Adam’s hand on his dick, tugging in rough strokes, his balls drawing in tight into his body, it’s too much –_

_“But now … you’ll be thinking of me when he eventually gets the guts to, won’t you?”_

_Langa doesn’t know how to answer that, so he groans instead – in affirmation or to get Adam to stop talking, he’ll never know._

_How can he?_

_Reki isn’t Adam and Langa’s never pretended otherwise. Skating with Reki was always like flying, sunny skies ahead and a path that never ends. But with Adam, Langa’s never even sure where the path is, and fuck, it makes his heart race in a way that warmth in Reki’s embrace just can’t. Langa never thought he’d get into skateboarding, nor that he’d be into sex like this – but now that he’s tasted it, felt it, up close and personal, he doesn’t know if he can ever go back._

_Adam’s drawing away now, and his voice is louder, further away, like this too is a stage performance and he’s putting on a show for the crowd._

_“So, it’s okay, call out his name, don’t be shy. I don’t mind.”_

_And Langa, a slave to the devil, the siren, the pure adrenaline rush that is Adam, can only obey._

_“Reki, Reki, Reki!”_

_He screams it until his throat is hoarse, until he comes so hard that he doesn’t remember Adam pulling out, until the high fades and he finally, finally, crashes back down to Earth._

**Author's Note:**

> You can catch me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/silverinerivers) & read my other SK8 fics [here!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverinerivers/works?fandom_id=52382346)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [like a wildfire burning all](https://archiveofourown.org/works/30104490) by Anonymous 




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